Training Adult Leaders Vol. 3: Listen to how your leader's Talk

This will be a short tip for your training but hopefully will be very valuable. One of the guys on staff at my church brought a great tip to me and I wanted to share it with you. As we look to train our leaders to be thinking from a team approach we need to watch for how our leaders use pronouns. What I mean by that is this: Have you ever heard people discuss their favorite team or sport? It is funny to hear people talk about their team and how they use words like, "We really beat the other team today," or "We need to pick up this player" or "WE need to..."
It is funny when the team is doing something wrong and they are jumping off the bandwagon you hear them saying, "They better stop making so many bad decisions," or "they need to win a game or they will not make the playoffs." You see the pronoun usage shift from a "WE" mentality to a "They." If you start seeing your adult leaders referring to decions made to a they or a you instead of we when they are talking to other people you can put the brakes on and realize that they are beginning to jump of the team bandwagon. It is time to re-cast vision, re-ignite the goals, and re-establish the purpose of why your doing what your doing. So by listening to how your adults talk about the youth ministry you will see how unified they are with a team approach.

Training Adult Leaders Vol. 2: Teach Your Leaders to Be a Team

One of the most important things we can do is to clarify our expectations as I just mentioned in my previous post. However, another thing that is vital to teach your team of leaders on any level is to be a team. We had a leader's training and I hit on the fact that we have got to stay focused as a team. When a decision is made we must look to how we can make that decision work the best for the goal we are tryiing to achieve. Often times our response to compaining is to continue to complain. By doing that we not only hurt our image, we also hurt the ministry we are involved with, the church we are working with, and the Kingdom of God. Complaining stirs up discension and undermines the vision of what your trying to accomplish.

My goal as a youth pastor is to express to the staff ideas and visions on how to be more effective in reaching people for God's Kingdom. If someone on staff makes a decision to do ministry a certain way that I might not agree with I have to remember we are a team and that even thought I think it would be more effective one way, my job as a team player is to at that point help make that decision get implemented as effectively as possible.

An example would be, let's suppose you are at a church that has a Sunday night church service. You really believe that it would be better and more effective to reach students if you did ministry projects on Sunday nights. After expressing this with your pastor and the staff your pastor feels like even though it is a good idea he wants everyone to be together for a service on Sunday night.

You have a couple of options. 1) You can be upset and compain to your youth leaders and students about how your pastor is handcuffing the minsitry and it won't grow until he loosens up. 2) You can Complain behind closed doors to your spouse, and those who are close to you and try to figure out a way to help your pastor see his mistake. 3) You can decide that if this is the direction the church is taking you will utilize this to impact your student ministry the most effective way it can. or 4) You can look for another job. Which one do you do?

As being a part of a team the appproach is simple. You job is to implement the vision with the guidelines given to you the most effective as you can. This doesn't mean you fight until you get your way. You see, I see that option 3 is what we need to do. However, as you do option 3 and seek to make the best of what was given to you, you can prayerfully talk with your pastor and show him what you want to see happen. Clarify your goals and the reason why you see the greatest impact for the change you were wanting to make. If you see that this is too strong of a philosophy difference then you may conisder making a move in ministry. But remember, just because someone does something different doesn't mean that it is wrong (however, sometimes it just may be wrong).

Training Your Leaders

In youth ministry it is often easy for students, parents or leaders to complain about how something is done. You must communicate upfront with your leaders that complaining about the youth ministry to others and to students is not tolerated. But also give them permission to discuss with you their frustrations. Just as you would want your pastor to let you discuss with you why you think something would be better give that permission to your leaders!

I pray this helps you as you go into this fall training your leaders.

In Christ,

Kevin Deming

Training Adult Leaders Vol. 1: Communicate Your Expectations

One of the most important thing you can do in ministry is to communicate your expectations. As leaders we want to lead people where we are going and one of the most frustrating things about following a leader can be if you don't know where you going. I know as a youth pastor one of the best things I can do is to communicate to my adult leaders, parents, staff, spouse (family) and students what we see as where we are headed. If people know where you are going they will be better at helping you get there. If we don't clarify our direction then what happens is your adult leaders and those around you begin to have their idea of where to go. They may have some great ideas but if it is different than what your doing it will result in conflict and frustration.

Here is an example:

Youth Pastor (let's call him Mr. A) is passionate about discipleship and is gifted in that way. He sees that the midweek youth event should be designed for the purpose of spiritual growth. He realizes that there is a need for reaching out to the unchurched but doesn't feel that the mid-week event is the place that would be most effective to do that. Now everything that Mr. A does is going to be geared toward a discipleship result. There may be some evangelism that takes place at that program but the messages and the environment that is produced will be done to be more effective in producing disicipleship.

Now let's suppose MR. A hasn't communicated that to his parents, or leaders. Maybe there are some who feel that the best place to reach the unchurched is the mid-week program. What would happen if the leaders and the youth pastor never communicate what the direction and purpose of that event is? Well, it would result in leaders and parents frustrated that more unchurched students are not coming. Even though there may be some good discipleship going on the end result of how the youth event is measured is done with 2 seperate measuring scales.

Don't be like Mr. A and have a vision but forget to communicate it. In fact, I haven't met a youth pastor who has told me that they get complaints because they communicate too much. If you are a youth pastor that gets complaints for that I would say, "Great job!!"

Communicate everything your doing and why your doing it. Communicate what the end result your looking for at each program, or event you have should accomplish. Whether you use the Purpose Driven youth model, or the Northpoint Church in Atlanta Model, or the Mr. A Youth Pastor Model the goal has to be communication.

Here are some suggestions that I have put to practice:

1) Create google groups for your leaders and your parents to communicate with them.

2) Have an email list or database list for you to email your parents, leaders and students on a weekly or regular basis.

3) Put together a newsletter to send to leaders, students, and parents that you can send through your email list.

4) Meet with your leaders regularly. Have them over to your house and have fun with them. Don't only get together with them for trainging purposes. If you have fun together you will be able to lead together better.

5) Schedule regular Parent Gatherings to convey how they can stay connected. Remember if you have ways for parents to stay connected then let them know how you will communicate to them and then tell them if they want to know what is going on they will have to take responsibility to get connected. (This is a freebie: don't let yourself get beat up if a parent or youth doesn't know what is going on if you provide a way for everyone to know what is going on and you let them know how to do that.)

6) Actually email your students, parents and leaders.

7) Put the vision God has given you in print or on the web. Keep details of upcoming events in print (available) or on the web.

I hope this helps. Please let me know if you have used some of these ideas and if you have some others that have worked well for you.

Kevin Deming