Another Communication Post..but this one is worth the read.

How many of you struggle with communicating with your adult leaders, parents, staff, students? I am sure that most of your hands went up..actually you probably didn't actually raise your hand while reading this blog, but you might have done a little nod. Maybe even some of you yelled out in your office, "You betcha!" I am sure of all the things you could have yelled out the chances are it was, "You betcha!" Anyways, we as humans, as leaders, as ministers have the ongoing struggle of comminicating.

The number one thing about communicating is that we know what we need to communicate. I am not going to go into depth on this blog, you can go hide out in an office or starbucks somewhere and figure that one out. Maybe it would be a great idea to ask your Pastor what he believes is the most important thing for you to communicate. If you agree then you better start working on it. If you disagree then you need to spend some time with your pastor and communicate what you believe you need to communicate.

Today we are going to look at another aspect of communication. It is actually the mindset of communication. One of our biggest hurdles in communicating effectively is that we don't have the right mindset about communication and what a leader needs to do in communication.

Oftentimes we give out 7 different ways of what we are trying to do from an event, to leading a meeting, to how you want something to be organized and it still doesn't look or work the way you expected. And even sometimes after you have sent out emails, made phone calls and gave the ol' Open door policy to your leaders and students they still don't know what your thinking.

The answer to this is nailed down to 1 major understanding about who you are as a leader. If you have an event, have a meeting, or whatever it is and the people who are on your team are struggling to know what was or is going on.... "It is your fault!" You see even if you sent out emails, did the phone tree, sent a singing telegram, and yelled it from your announcements during youth group, if they don't get what your saying you failed as a communicator. I know this one hurts. We all do it. We think that if we give 7 different ways for people to know what it is that we are doing that if they don't get the answers it was b/c they didn't put out the effort and do it. Even though your correct that they had 7 chances to know what your were doing you have to remember the goal. Is the goal to provide communication or is your goal to actually communicate? If it is to provide communication then all you need to do is provide communication. But if your goal is to communicate and there for make things less frustrating and more effective then instead of just providing communication you need to make sure that you do everything you can that every person your trying to reach gets that communication and understands it.

So the next time you have adult leaders who say, "I didn't know we had a meeting." Please, I mean, Please don't say, "Well, I sent out an email, and I announced it at the last meeting, you need to pay more attention." Instead say, "What can I do to make sure that you know when the next meeting is."

Hope this helps!!

In Christ,

Kevin Deming

Following Through with change...

Wow, I know one of the hardest things in ministry is following through. I wanted to write this post as more of an encouragement to ministry leaders to remind them that we need to be obedient to God first and foremost. When God gives you a vision it is very important that we choose to do what God has planned. God is Holy, God is Perfect, and God knows what is best so we should always remember when He shows us what we are to do if we want the best for our lives we need to follow through. Oftentimes, following through with something means that either it is going to be a lot of work or it is going to be a change that some people won't like. How many times have you seen an area in ministry that is not as effective as it can be and you see the reasons why? How many times do we not make it more effective because we are afraid of the consequences of changing something? Sometimes we are worried that if we make a change and someone is upset then it will be worse than continuing to do what we do.

I have heard many times the quote that Albert Einstein said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." If this is true then why do we keep doing the same things and expect things to get better?

Remember, if you are a leader in a ministry there are people who are looking for you to lead. Leaders will always be the frontrunners in change. We have to get better at communicating why we are changing something. But in order to improve anything we have to change it at least a little bit. The more there is a need to improve something the more we have to change it. People will tolerate but will not be satisfied when things remain the same.

Ask those working with you if they like change. Most will probably say no. Then ask them if they would like change if it paid them 1 million dollars. I will tell you right now those percentages go up quickly. People don't like change if they don't think it benefits them. People love change if it benefits them. It is a simple concept that we oftentimes overlook. How many times do you hear people say, "I just don't like change?" Well, the next time someone says that to you say, well, I guess I won't have to buy you a Christmas present anymore, because it would be different than what you already have. I am sure they would say...oh no. Please understand me when I say this again, we are creatures of habit and even though we struggle with the idea of change it is always very easy to accept if the world around us is better for us. Do people want world peace? Yes, that is change. Do people want to win the lottery? Yes, that is a huge change.

I want to end with this idea that change is only as bad as the result. If you believe God is showing you how to be more effective in reaching more people and making an impact for His Kingdom. Don't let people's fear of change keep you from doing the right thing. Communicate what that change is to your people. Communicate why this is the best. Then do what God has for you to do. Follow through with it or you will burn out and go insane in ministry. Don't keep doing the same thing again and again and expect different results. If it is working then tweak it to make it better, if it is broke then change it!

I hope this helps!~

In Christ,

Kevin Deming

God is Good "All the Time"

This morning I was at the sink at my kitchen and I looked at a stone that had written on it, "God is Good All the time." I began thinking about that and how very few people will disagree with God is good and most won't say they disagree with God is Good all the time, but I have seen that we oftentimes live in contrary to this statement. The statement that many of us live by is, "God is good when things are good." How many times when we are having a bad day, or when something terrible happens in our life we begin to question God? What we are doing is we are questioning the goodness of God. I know you have either asked this question or been asked this question, "If God is Good (or loving) then why would He let bad things happen?" The central problem with this question is that it comes from the idea that we believe that at times God is not actually a "Good God."

I was talking with one of my mentors and a friend of mine and he was saying that in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve took a bite of the fruit their whole behavior can be summed up in 2 thoughts. 1) They believe that God is not Good and 2) they believe that God is a liar. If they believed that God was good all the time then they would have never listened to the serpent who suggested that God was not Good or He would have let them have the fruit. The serpent also suggests that God is a liar, and therefore not good, by not telling them what actually happens when they eat of the fruit. He suggested that God was trying to keep them from something even better. You see, if Adam and Eve would have held on to the Truth that God is God all the time, they would have resisted the fruit that God told them would cause them to die.

As people we need to be careful that we don't fall into the trap of believing that God is good, when things are good. God's goodness is not based on our circumstances. His Goodness is based upon Who He is. As soon as we put condition on God's goodness we begin to say that God's goodness is no longer based on who He is but instead of how we feel or what our circumstances look at.

There are many reasons why bad things happen in this world..we won't get into them in this blog entry. However, one thing is true, bad things started to happen when 2 people believed the lie that God was not Good All the Time!

Training Adult Leaders Vol. 3: Listen to how your leader's Talk

This will be a short tip for your training but hopefully will be very valuable. One of the guys on staff at my church brought a great tip to me and I wanted to share it with you. As we look to train our leaders to be thinking from a team approach we need to watch for how our leaders use pronouns. What I mean by that is this: Have you ever heard people discuss their favorite team or sport? It is funny to hear people talk about their team and how they use words like, "We really beat the other team today," or "We need to pick up this player" or "WE need to..."
It is funny when the team is doing something wrong and they are jumping off the bandwagon you hear them saying, "They better stop making so many bad decisions," or "they need to win a game or they will not make the playoffs." You see the pronoun usage shift from a "WE" mentality to a "They." If you start seeing your adult leaders referring to decions made to a they or a you instead of we when they are talking to other people you can put the brakes on and realize that they are beginning to jump of the team bandwagon. It is time to re-cast vision, re-ignite the goals, and re-establish the purpose of why your doing what your doing. So by listening to how your adults talk about the youth ministry you will see how unified they are with a team approach.

Training Adult Leaders Vol. 2: Teach Your Leaders to Be a Team

One of the most important things we can do is to clarify our expectations as I just mentioned in my previous post. However, another thing that is vital to teach your team of leaders on any level is to be a team. We had a leader's training and I hit on the fact that we have got to stay focused as a team. When a decision is made we must look to how we can make that decision work the best for the goal we are tryiing to achieve. Often times our response to compaining is to continue to complain. By doing that we not only hurt our image, we also hurt the ministry we are involved with, the church we are working with, and the Kingdom of God. Complaining stirs up discension and undermines the vision of what your trying to accomplish.

My goal as a youth pastor is to express to the staff ideas and visions on how to be more effective in reaching people for God's Kingdom. If someone on staff makes a decision to do ministry a certain way that I might not agree with I have to remember we are a team and that even thought I think it would be more effective one way, my job as a team player is to at that point help make that decision get implemented as effectively as possible.

An example would be, let's suppose you are at a church that has a Sunday night church service. You really believe that it would be better and more effective to reach students if you did ministry projects on Sunday nights. After expressing this with your pastor and the staff your pastor feels like even though it is a good idea he wants everyone to be together for a service on Sunday night.

You have a couple of options. 1) You can be upset and compain to your youth leaders and students about how your pastor is handcuffing the minsitry and it won't grow until he loosens up. 2) You can Complain behind closed doors to your spouse, and those who are close to you and try to figure out a way to help your pastor see his mistake. 3) You can decide that if this is the direction the church is taking you will utilize this to impact your student ministry the most effective way it can. or 4) You can look for another job. Which one do you do?

As being a part of a team the appproach is simple. You job is to implement the vision with the guidelines given to you the most effective as you can. This doesn't mean you fight until you get your way. You see, I see that option 3 is what we need to do. However, as you do option 3 and seek to make the best of what was given to you, you can prayerfully talk with your pastor and show him what you want to see happen. Clarify your goals and the reason why you see the greatest impact for the change you were wanting to make. If you see that this is too strong of a philosophy difference then you may conisder making a move in ministry. But remember, just because someone does something different doesn't mean that it is wrong (however, sometimes it just may be wrong).

Training Your Leaders

In youth ministry it is often easy for students, parents or leaders to complain about how something is done. You must communicate upfront with your leaders that complaining about the youth ministry to others and to students is not tolerated. But also give them permission to discuss with you their frustrations. Just as you would want your pastor to let you discuss with you why you think something would be better give that permission to your leaders!

I pray this helps you as you go into this fall training your leaders.

In Christ,

Kevin Deming

Training Adult Leaders Vol. 1: Communicate Your Expectations

One of the most important thing you can do in ministry is to communicate your expectations. As leaders we want to lead people where we are going and one of the most frustrating things about following a leader can be if you don't know where you going. I know as a youth pastor one of the best things I can do is to communicate to my adult leaders, parents, staff, spouse (family) and students what we see as where we are headed. If people know where you are going they will be better at helping you get there. If we don't clarify our direction then what happens is your adult leaders and those around you begin to have their idea of where to go. They may have some great ideas but if it is different than what your doing it will result in conflict and frustration.

Here is an example:

Youth Pastor (let's call him Mr. A) is passionate about discipleship and is gifted in that way. He sees that the midweek youth event should be designed for the purpose of spiritual growth. He realizes that there is a need for reaching out to the unchurched but doesn't feel that the mid-week event is the place that would be most effective to do that. Now everything that Mr. A does is going to be geared toward a discipleship result. There may be some evangelism that takes place at that program but the messages and the environment that is produced will be done to be more effective in producing disicipleship.

Now let's suppose MR. A hasn't communicated that to his parents, or leaders. Maybe there are some who feel that the best place to reach the unchurched is the mid-week program. What would happen if the leaders and the youth pastor never communicate what the direction and purpose of that event is? Well, it would result in leaders and parents frustrated that more unchurched students are not coming. Even though there may be some good discipleship going on the end result of how the youth event is measured is done with 2 seperate measuring scales.

Don't be like Mr. A and have a vision but forget to communicate it. In fact, I haven't met a youth pastor who has told me that they get complaints because they communicate too much. If you are a youth pastor that gets complaints for that I would say, "Great job!!"

Communicate everything your doing and why your doing it. Communicate what the end result your looking for at each program, or event you have should accomplish. Whether you use the Purpose Driven youth model, or the Northpoint Church in Atlanta Model, or the Mr. A Youth Pastor Model the goal has to be communication.

Here are some suggestions that I have put to practice:

1) Create google groups for your leaders and your parents to communicate with them.

2) Have an email list or database list for you to email your parents, leaders and students on a weekly or regular basis.

3) Put together a newsletter to send to leaders, students, and parents that you can send through your email list.

4) Meet with your leaders regularly. Have them over to your house and have fun with them. Don't only get together with them for trainging purposes. If you have fun together you will be able to lead together better.

5) Schedule regular Parent Gatherings to convey how they can stay connected. Remember if you have ways for parents to stay connected then let them know how you will communicate to them and then tell them if they want to know what is going on they will have to take responsibility to get connected. (This is a freebie: don't let yourself get beat up if a parent or youth doesn't know what is going on if you provide a way for everyone to know what is going on and you let them know how to do that.)

6) Actually email your students, parents and leaders.

7) Put the vision God has given you in print or on the web. Keep details of upcoming events in print (available) or on the web.

I hope this helps. Please let me know if you have used some of these ideas and if you have some others that have worked well for you.

Kevin Deming

Becoming more effective in ministry

One of the things I love most about the church I am in is their drive to be more effective in every area of ministry. We are in the middle of Strategic planning for every ministry in the church and are using the principles from the book, "7 Practices of Effective Ministry." It is worth buying if you haven't already bought a copy. Our church is taking these 7 practices and applying them to every ministry and demographic in our church to see how we can be more effective in reaching people.

I want to encourage you to evaluate your ministry. Look and see what is working and what seems to be struggling. Get a copy of the books, The Simple Church and 7 Practices of Effective ministry and apply those principles to your ministry. What is your passion in ministry? Do you want to see God show up mightily in your life? If you do then I encourage you to work with a team of leaders to discover God's vision for your ministry, focus on communicating to your people the vision God has given your ministry, do everything you can to follow through and make things more effective.

Don't settle for less than what God has for you and your ministry. God is bigger than we can imagine. Trust Him and let Him guide you. Please don't get satisfied with just maintaining ministry. Be passionate about being more effective and impactful.

Kevin

What to do when you go to a New Church

I have been out of service for a few weeks as I have made a transition to a church in North Carolina. God has been so amazing in answering our prayer requests during our move and I am so thankful to see all He is doing. Thanks for your prayers and I am excited to see what God is doing.

For those who are starting a position in a new church here are some thoughts on some first things to do:

1) Get to know the heart of the church and the staff. Spend time asking questions and getting to know who your working with.

2) Spend time with Leaders in the youth ministry. Set up meetings with them in the first 2 weeks and get a feel of what their expectations are for the student ministry. Remember they are the ones who have been carrying the youth ministry while the church has been looking for a new youth pastor. Find out what they see are the biggest needs. Remember, whatever their expectations of the youth ministry are they will judge your success or failure on those things. If that is not what your heart and passion is then you need to communicate to them clearly what your passion and giftedness are.

3) Spend time with parents. Get to know the parents. Within the first month try and set up a parent gathering to be able to cast vision. Listen to the parents. There are needs that they see their kids have and you want to be sure to address those needs.

4) Get to know the students by name. It is very important that you know their name. It makes someone feel so good when they here someone use their name.
Sometimes youth pastors can make the mistake and just try and spend all their time with the students the first few weeks. Be sure that you focus on all 4 of these areas. Pray through the vision God has given you for that church and then lead the leaders and parents there and love the students and you will see God do amazing things.

The more people you can include in the loop the better you will be.

Kevin

How do you hear God's Voice?

How do you hear God's Voice? How do you know when God is telling you to do something? These are great questions that many people struggle with. I know that many times I hear people say, "I would obey God if I just knew what He wanted me to do." There is some truth to it but the problem doesn't lie with God not communicating to us it is with us listening to Him.

I love taking my students to Look-up Lodge Christian Retreat in SC because the speaker Greg does an amazing job in communicating Who God is to the students. We took our High School students there last week and one of the things he talked about what what is one of the greatest characteristics of God. People mention God's Love, His Grace, His Mercy, His Patience, His Faithfulness and many others. Greg stops and points out that all those are absolutely amazing but he feels that the greatest characteristic is that God is a Great Communicator. How could we know about all those things about God unless He communicated them to us. This is where hearing God's voice comes to play.

I usually tell people that there are several factors in hearing God's voice. The first thing we have to remember is that God is soveriegn enough and cares enough to tell us what we need to know. It would be sort of silly for us to sit back and think that God would want us to know something but would struggle with figuring out how to communicate that to us. So our first step is to realize that God can and does want to show us His Will.

Greg also asked the questions to the students, "Does anyone want to know God's will for their life?" Of course hands went up all over. Greg pointed to someone and said, "Do you really want to know?" He then went on to tell them, "If you really want to know God's will, then your in it. The first step to doing God's will is to want it." (paraphrased) He then continued to say that God's will is simply Him saying, "Follow me!" In order to be in God's will we must want it and be willing to follow Him wherever he takes us.

So now you want God's will, your willing to follow Him you just don't know where, what, how, why and when! This is the part that is so great about God. He desires to communicate Himself to us. He has given us His Word, the Bible, to show us more of Who He is, and guide us in the way we should follow Him. You see the whole word of God is to point us to this Holy and Righteous God. As we seek to know this God and love Him we will find that we remain in His Will (John 15).

But Kevin...what about the specifics of my life? Well great question there reader of this blog! I have in the years of being a Christian realize that Christ Lives in me and His Holy Spirit is in me to guide me. I have to trust that God is powerful enough and cares enough to guide me exactly where He wants me. I know that He asks me to be willing to do whatever He desires, where ever He desires, whenever He desires. I must now trust that He will clearly guide me there. The question you have to ask is when He has shown you specifics of His will for you how did He speak to you? If you can learn to hear how God speaks to you then you can really learn to hear His voice. John 10:4, "When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice." Do you know How God has spoken to you? Do you know God's voice? If you struggle with this answer then I encourage you to go back and spend time getting to know this God. Take His Word and get out into His creation and pray and ask Him to teach you who He is.

There are many ways that God speaks to people. Most people hear His voice through a small still voice in their heart, through peace, through open doors and closed doors, through His word. Other times God may speak through dreams or visions or miracles in your life. I would say sometimes God speaks through people as well, but be cautious with this one. I have seen many Christians go to people for counsel and only seek the counsel of people who they think will say what they want. Make sure it is God directing them and not just their thoughts on your situation.

Keep Seeking God with Passion. Know Him, I mean really Get to Know Jesus and don't settle for anything less!!

In Christ,

Kevin Deming

Heading to NC

Well, God has been doing a ton in my life and my family and I are moving to North Carolina. It has been a clear call from God and I know that when He speaks we have 1 choice to make: To be obedient. I am excited about the move but will greatly miss the students that I have had the priveledge of mentoring and ministering to. I will take some time and talk about God's Call in our life, Does it Matter if I obey God or not, Making a Transition in Ministry and several other topics over the next few weeks. Please be patient with my blog as I make this transition. Be sure to check back weekly to see what God is doing. Thank you for your prayers. If you have any questions or ideas you would love to hear from me on please email me at kevin@youthministryhelper.com

Thanks!

Kevin Deming

Environment of Acceptance

Every one of us longs to be accepted and loved. We strive to be in an environment where we feel like people care about us. As youth pastors it is extremely important for us to give every student an opportunity to feel loved and accepted when they walk into our churches. We need to change the mindset of most teenagers and train them to reach out to one another and realize how important it is for us to show the truth of Jesus Christ to everyone.

One of the biggest needs our students have is to be accepted. We see that in their desire to fit in. What can we do to see that our Students are accepted and welcomed each time they walk in the door?

1) Know your students by name. Every student looks to see if you know them by name. They also look to see how you say their name. Be sure to use their name when you speak to them.

2) Set up hosts whose job each week is to see that every person who walks in the doors are connected and followed up with. Do you have a welcome center where you can check people in and make sure you know who is coming each week?

3) Find a way to connect your guests and visitors to a significant adult or student in your ministry so that they will be embraced! Have student come to a big event and you may or may not see them again; Have a student form a relationship in a small group and you can make a disciple.

4) Are you training your leaders to look for students who are not connected. It is easy to be friendly to the students who are regulars and have an outgoing personality, but how are you relating to the students who seem lonely or hurting or need a friend? Are you training your students to invest in others?

Remember to always try and look at your student ministry from the perspective of a first time visitor. Would you come back if you were a first time guest?

The Beach

I have the awesome privilege of spending the week at the beach. It is one of the most beautiful times to be reminded of the greatness of our Creator. You can stand on the beach and look out over the ocean and not even see to the ends of the ocean. In Isaiah 40 it talks about the Greatness of God. In Isaiah 40:12, it states "Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, and marked off the heavens by the span, and calculated the dust of the earth by the measure, and weighed the mountains in a balance and the hills in a pair of scales." Wow! As I stood and gazed at the ocean and couldn't even fathom how far it really goes, the Word of God talks about how Great God is in being able to hold all the waters of the earth in the palm of his hand. My mind can't even wrap around that. God is so much bigger than any problem in my life. God is bigger than anything that I will ever face. The cool thing about it is that He also cares for us more than we can understand. I encourage you to take a few minutes today and spend enjoying the creation of God. Maybe take a walk in a park, drive to the mountains or the beach, or just sit your yard and stare at the sky at night and look at the stars or watch the clouds. Yes, our creator and Lord is worthy to be praised. Let us realize how much worth He deserves.

A Change of Perspective

Yesterday we took our student ministry to Rescue Atlanta which is a church in downtown Atlanta the meets the needs of the poor and the desperate and the homeless in a way that most churches would never. You see it is easy for our churches to go to the inner city and feed the homeless, it is a little harder to actually set up lunches and make hot meals and serve the homeless, but it is very radical to invite the homeless into our Sunday Mornings and our church service and invest in their lives on a permanent basis. Well, Rescue Atlanta Does this. Check out their website: Rescue Atlanta.

On Saturday we got to see the city of Atlanta from the perspective of how a homeless person views it. We ministered to over 150 kids from the projects across the street with a Kid's Jam and rode on buses to pick them up and take them home. My heart broke as we rode with them on the bus and realized that they all were getting ready to be kicked out of their homes so that they could build homes that were for higher income levels. After we were on the bus for a while some of my students called to me and told me that there was a boy who missed his stop. I went to him and asked him to come up front with me so I could tell Pastor Mel where he lived. He came up front and I asked his name and he told me. I could tell he was young and seemed a little scared. I told him that I was glad he didn't get off the bus yet so we could hang out for a few more minutes together. I looked at him and asked him how old he was. He held up his hand with just 2 fingers and said he was 2 years old. He told me he would be 3 in Nov. This 2 year old boy had no one that was watching him, no older brother or sister or friend that was with him and didn't even know if there was someone at his house. My heart broke as I realized that there was a 2 year old boy out there that had to grow up faster than he ever wanted.

My perspective changed as it always does when you take time to see life from people who are desperate and hurting. How often are we so afraid to do ministry in a way that invites the hurting and the desperate? How often are we afraid to do more than just go serve a hot meal at a homeless shelter? Are we willing to actually live in such a way that our lives invest in those who are hurting? I pray that our churches will move from feeding people and helping the hurting at the back door and start investing in them and moving them into the front of our churches. Let our people see that there is so much more to our lives than feeling comfortable. It is about doing the ministry of Christ for the Glory of God. Are we willing to get dirty and touch the untouchable?

This reminds me of the parable where there was a man with Leprosy that stood outside the gates and was calling out for Jesus. Someone with Leprosy couldn't be touched and had to yell out all day to people and let them know that they had leprosy so that people would stay away from them. Someone with Leprosy usually didn't have anyone every touch them and I would say one of the hardest parts about being a leper was there was no human touch. Well, on this day, he heard that Jesus was near and so he was calling out for Him. Jesus came to him and he asked Jesus if he would make him clean. Jesus did the unthinkable, he reached down and he touched him. He told him that he would be made clean and the man was healed. You see Jesus did the unthinkable, the radical! He touched the unclean. Are our ministries filled with students who are good kids? Are our students filled with students who are the popular and the accepted or are we teaching and equipping our students to get into their schools and get a little dirty? Are we teaching them to seek out the desperate and the hurting? Are we teaching our students to love the unloved? I would say if we did we would see our churches full of the desperate who have found hope. I challenge each one of us to take time to invest in the unloved and let's do the ministry of Christ.

The Secret of a Godly Life

Ok, how many times do we find that we are frustrated with our walk with God. We know God is all powerful, we know that God moves but we look at ourselves or our ministry and we don't see the Spirit of God doing what we hope for. This little blog is simply helping us evaluate a few things about our walk with God and hopefully will cause us to reflect on the right questions.

The first thing we all have to get straight in our lives is whether we have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Check on the blog, "Why did Jesus Have to Die?" to go through this a little more. If you have a chance after reading this blog, pick up your Bible and read through John 14-17. This is Jesus' last words to His disciples before He is arrested. Because it is His last words we can know that they must have been pretty important. Also, the book of I John (especially chapters 4 & 5), deals with these same truths I am about to go through with you.

Alrighty, so you have a relationship with Jesus. We know that relationship is forever because Jesus goes and prepares a place for us in heaven (John 14:1-4). Now the cool thing about that is that when we have that relationship with Jesus God does something pretty special. He puts His spirit inside of us (Col. 1:27, Gal. 2:20, John 14:17). You know one thing about God is, He doesn't do something unless He has a purpose for it. If He puts His Spirit, If God gives His own Son to live inside of us then we can garuntee that He has a purpose for that. We can know as Believers that God has a purpose and plan for our lives. He is going to accomplish His plan in our lives through Christ Living in us.

What is that Plan?

Well, as we look in John 15:8 shows us it is to bear fruit and bring Glory to God. Bearing fruit is a huge part of our relationship with Jesus. God put His spirit inside of us so that we can bring Glory to God the Father. The way we bring Glory to God is by bearing fruit. So that leads us to the next question.

What is the Secret of bearing fruit?

Remaining in Him!
The Secret of bearing fruit is mentioned in John 15 where Jesus says that we must abide or remain in Him. By remaining in Him we will be able to bear much fruit. The greatest moments of my walk with God comes when I am resting and remaining in Christ. It is those moments that I neglect my walk with God that I see my life as unfruitful. I pray that those moments are few. So if this is my prayer what must I do in order to remain in Him?

What is the secret to Remaining in Him?

Obedience! Is that all. You mean for me to remain in Him all I have to do is be obedient? The question is are you at a place with God where at any moment in your life you are willing to do whatever God asks of you? You know, I can't think of a time where I was disobedient to God and was abiding in Him at the same time. I have seen Him use me and change lives in spite of my disobedience before. The only explanation for that is God is faithful even when I don't seem to be. However, if this is our lifestyle and we continue to be disobedient we cannot expect God to use us. So if that is the case how do I remain obedient?

What is the Secret to Obedience?

Love! Jesus continued in John 15 explaining that if we don't obey the Father then we do not love Him. And if we do not love Him then we won't obey Him. We must love Jesus in order to be obedient to Him. Isn't it so much easier to do something for someone when you love them? Of course it is. I John 4:12-13 says, "No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. We know aht we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of His Spirit." As we love, the more we will see God working inside of us to accomplish his purposes in our lives. So how do we love him more you ask?

What is the Secret to Loving God?

The secret to truly loving God comes from one thing: Knowing Him. As we get a right understanding of Who God is, His holiness, His Grace, His mercy, His faithfulness, His Justice, His Love for us, then our love for Him will Grow. The bottom line is that we must do everything we can to know God. There is a secret to growing in our relationship with God and it is knowing our God as He has made Himself known. We should invest ourselves in knowing God more through meditating on His Word, pursuing passionate prayer, doing the ministry of Christ and serving others. You see as our understanding of God grows our desire to be like Him will grow. As that happens we will see that we love Him more. As we love Him more we will be obedient to Him more, as we are obedient to Him more we will remain in Him more, and as we remain in Him more we will bear fruit and bring Glory to Him. This is a great and mighty purpose to live and I thank God He has given us His Spirit and His Son to live in us to accomplish His will!

In Christ,

Kevin Deming

What we must teach our students?

I am in the process of interviewing interns for the summer as we are growing an intern ministry. One of the questions that I have asked them is, "What do you believe are the foundational truths that we must teach students?" As I have heard some great answers and I have been praying about what we as Youth Pastors need to communicate to students I believe I have a really strong grasp on what it is that we need to teach.

Here they are:

1) A correct and complete picture of the Gospel. Please jump down to the "Why did Jesus Have to Die" Post for more information on this. Ultimately we need to make sure that every student that is in our ministry has a correct understanding of the Gospel. This is more than just having an inviation or sharing the gospel at your youth meeting. This entails getting to know your students and equipping your leaders to get to know the students in such a way that you really know what part of the Gospel they are struggling with. Do you know the spiritual condition of every student in your ministry? If you have a large youth ministry do you or someone on your leadership know every student's spiritual condition?

2) A right view of who we are in comparision to who God is! This is very extensive but it should be the driving force to where we are leading students. Are we leading students to discover a correct view of Who God is? Are we showing them a correct view of who we are as we relate to God? Everything that we teach them about God flows out of this. Our biggest problems with students are not keeping them out of peer pressure or trying to convince them to come to church. Our biggest struggle is working through all the junk and lies in their life that they believe about God and helping to correct that and give them a correct view of God. This view of God is founded in the Word of God as Paul so often teaches that we need to teach according to sound doctrine. (Titus 1:9He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.)
(Titus 2:1[ What Must Be Taught to Various Groups ] You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine.)

3) We need to teach them how to apply this right view to their life. We need to invest in students in such a way that we begin to allow them to see how God can and wants to change their life for the better. We need them to as they seek God and see His Truth understand how to put that to practice in their lives.

My encouragement to each and every youth pastor is to do whatever it takes to communicate this Right understanding of God. It starts with Salvation and the Gospel. It continues with the process of putting to practice the Word of God in their lives. The truest way to love someone is to help them know, understand, and apply God's Truth!

Leading Students to Jesus

How many times do we as youth pastors sit back and try to just let our Sunday Morning service be the answer to our kids coming to Christ? How many times do we teach our students about Jesus but just leave it up to them to come if they really want to make a decision? How many times do we actually take the initiative to see that our Students have a correct understanding of Jesus and they really have a relationship with Him?

This past Sunday we baptized 9 people but what I am so excited about is that 3 of them were student salvations that happened the week before. On Sunday Morning April 15th I stepped out of our Morning worship and met with some teenagers to tell them how they can know they have a relationship with Jesus. I was excited from my trip to Russia and leading some students to Christ there and I took the time to talk with some students who wanted to make sure they were going to heaven. I went to our small groups and just told students of the necessity that they understand why Jesus had to die. I asked any student that had never been baptized but wanted to make sure that they were going to heaven to come with me and talk. I had 5 students say they wanted to make sure they were going to heaven.

We spent around 45 minutes together talking about how God was perfect and we were not. We talked about our need to have someone who was perfect take our punishment of death so we could be with God. At the end of the time all 5 students said they wanted Jesus. They went from believing when they walked in the room with me that the way they get to heaven is by being good and doing right. Now, they believed Jesus died but they saw that as part of doing their best. When we finished they realized that it was only through faith in Jesus that they could be made perfect and have a relationship with God. They knew that we obey God, because we love Him (John 14). 3 of the students got baptized the next week. The other 2 had to wait until the next time we baptize. We also have 4-6 other students that want to meet with me in a class I call, "Believe." It is basically me sharing with students why Jesus had to die to forgive our sins. God is doing some awesome things and it starts with prayer, continues with having a clear understanding of how to share the gospel, and ends with students who are ready to hear God's truth. It is exciting to see what God can do! Be strong and Bold and make sure every student has an opportunity to hear the truth about Jesus. Don't take for granted that they come to church that is enough. If they are in your ministry or come to the church, as youth pastors you are held responsible for making sure that they hear the truth. Keep Seeking God with Passion!!

Why did Jesus Have to Die? Russia part 2

I want to tell you a story from our trip to Russia. It was Wed. night one of our last days at the Church which we were working with. We had a huge Youth Banquet planned and we invited the youth from the church where we had it (First Baptist of Bryansk) and also the Church plant that we were working with. We also invited students from the Deaf School and from the orphanages that we worked with. We had around 150 youth there and it was very exciting. We had a service upstairs where we had students share their testimonies, sing songs, and I got to share out of John 14-16 Jesus' Last words to His Disciples before he was to be arrested (which I focused on Jesus giving us the Holy Spirit to guide us in all truth.)

We went downstairs after the service and had it decorated for all the youth and we put all the youth around the tables. Our group made American Pizza for them and we all sat down to eat. We had the places set up where we would have 2 American's and 1 Interpreter sitting together so we could talk to the youth. I went down and sat at a table where no one was yet and prayed that God would bring the people he wanted me to talk with to come and sit with me. A group of students filled in the chairs and they sat down next to me and around me. One of the youth from my group sat with me and we had an interpreter with us. I think the first words out of the interpreter’s mouth to me were, "Ok, now you share Jesus with these boys." So I did.

It was very difficult trying to get the conversation going because you always have to use the interpreter and then they would talk to each other and it was hard to stay in the conversation. But we talked for a few minutes about the Bible and if they had been to church. These boys were from the shelter and the church we were working with did go and work with them some already. They seemed interested in the conversation so I said this, "There is a question that many American Students cannot answer and I would like to ask you. Why did Jesus have to die in order to forgive our sins?"

The boys answered with some responses but seemed unsure. So I asked them if I could share with them the answer. They said, "Da" which means Yes in Russian.

So, the door flew open and I was able to share very clearly the gospel. I walked through how God is our Creator and because of that he is owner and He makes the rules. He is perfect and Holy and He must separate Himself from imperfect people. A perfect God cannot live with Imperfect people. God must punish sin and the punishment is death (Rom. 6:23). We are not perfect (James 2:10, Romans 3:23) and therefore we deserve Death and separation from God as the payment for our sin. Hebrews 9 talks about the need for sacrifice and the shedding of blood to pay for sin. Hebrews 9:22, says "In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness."

I told them of the sacrifices of the Old Testament and how they were just temporary coverings for sin. In order to have complete forgiveness there would have to be a perfect person willing to take our place and die in our place. I shared how Jesus was this person, God's Son. He was able to take our place because he was perfect (1 Peter 1:18-19). Jesus was the Lamb that was perfect that died in our place.

When we looked at this I expressed that Jesus had to die because God, being a Just God, must punish sin - there is no way around it. If we try to pay the price of sin by being good it isn't enough we are already guilty of breaking the whole law - even with one sin. If we want any chance to be with God we must have a perfect sacrifice and substitution for our sin. Jesus is that answer. By Jesus, dying on the cross he was able to stand in our place, take our punishment and for those who believe he would take all our sin on Himself. Wow!! Isn't that awesome!

I asked the boys if they wanted to keep trying to pay for their sin on their own and try to get to heaven their way or they wanted Jesus to take their place. The 3 boys all said they wanted Jesus. We went in another room and talked more in depth with them and all 3 boys placed their faith in Jesus being the only way to get to heaven (John 14:6) and how through his ressurection we can have the Holy Spirit living in us and guiding us in all truth (John 16:13).

We gave them Bibles, encouraged them to read it together, pray together and we introduced them to the Pastor of the church we were working with and with some of the students that go to that church. I could see it in their eyes that they really got it! It was exciting to see that asking a question like, "Why did Jesus have to die in order to forgive our sins?" was the open door to share the truth about Jesus.

The Russia Experience

Ok, I will have to do several blogs in order to begin to tell you how incredible my experience was on our mission trip to Russia. First, I am so thankful for God and How Mightily He shows Himself in my life and in the lives of the people he changes. Also, I want to thank the interpreters who were on our mission trip. There is no way that we could have accomplished all we did without our interpreters. They were such servants in communicating our hearts to the Russian people we were ministering too. But the coolest thing was it was their heart as well.

I will say if you have never taken a group on an international trip - make the effort to do it. There is something about going to a different culture where you don't speak their language and only through interpreters can you truly communicate with them. I also want to encourage you to do whatever it takes to have enough interpreters for your group and get ones who have a heart for the people you are ministering too.

Alrighty...

Russia, where do I begin. It was nothing like I thought and everything like I thought at the same time. On the other side of the world from where I sit today there are people who have the same dreams, emotions, struggles and pain as we do. These struggles may come out a little different than ours but they are the same. People need God, people want to be accepted, people long to understand their life and only through Christ can they find true peace and love.

To get a picture of what it looked like I encourage you to download Google Earth and type in Bryansk, Russia and then click on the pictures it has there as well. I can't describe what it looked like as much as pictures so take time to visit websites with pictures.

We went to 3 orphanages, a deaf school, 2 retirement homes, 2 Public schools (to which we were the first Americans to go to those schools), held a youth banquet for 150+ youth, and did a VBS at a church plant. And the great thing about this was we got to share the gospel at every place. Who could of thought that we would have been able to go into a public school and share the Love of Jesus with students. It was awesome.

I will share more later!

Off on a Mission

Please be in prayer for me as I travel to another country on a mission trip. We are leaving Wed. morning and will be back on April 7th. I know God has some great things planned. I will blog when I get back about all He did!! Thanks!

God size moments in our Lives

I am hanging out in West Virginia on a Youth Pastor's Ski retreat (Thanks CTI Ski). It is such a great time to get with other youth pastors and spend time hearing all that God is doing. Not to mention that it is a blast skiing and refreshing ourselves. I am working through the Book of Ephesians this week and praying that God will continue to reveal more and more of His truth in my life.

Last night in youth I think it was a God moment kind of night. We had our High School youth last night and I saw God show up in a mighty way. We took the focus from our weekend learning about God's word and we spent some time in prayer. It was a call for us to not accept fluff (the no more fluff campaign) in our lives. We should come before God in desperation. You see in order to have a God size moment in our lives we must come face to Face with the truth of Who God is and who we are in relation to our Creator. We must realize that it is in our desperation that we find God. The moments in my life that God shows up always are centered when I am realizing my great need for God in my life. It is when I realize that my life is not about me. It is not about what I can do. It is about God and what He has done and will do. Do we want to see our youth ministries grow in numbers or grow in God's power. I believe in our own strength we can make our ministries look sucessful to the worlds eyes. I also believe that we cannot fake true life transformation. We cannot fake God's power changing lives in a radical way. Is our ministry showing fruit that is lasting or temporary fruit that looks good for a short time but seems to be missing something?

I have talked with youth pastors who say, "Man, our youth ministry on our midweek program is growing like crazy, but there sure is no depth in their lives." After asking them about their ministry I see that they are not calling students to a life of desperation in seeking their God. They are playing games, passing out snacks, have music, and then give a short message that doesn't take students deep. Then they have not connected the students to significant Christians who are willing to take students by the hand and lead them deep in the Word of God.

It is time for us as youth pastors and leaders to find a way to connect our students to God moments in their lives. Connect them to the Word of God. Connect them to Significant Christians. Connect them to a passionate prayer life and ultimately connecting them to our God.

Nothing but the WORD

Another Day at the Clarity Conference and another day seeking deep into the Word of God. God has been burdening my heart for the last year or more to stay strong teaching the importance of the Word of God in our lives. How often do we make crucial decisions about our lives and expect God to bless us but we leave God's word and prayer in the rear view mirror? I wonder if our generation has started getting so concerned with loosing people to other religions and other things that we have neglected staying the course with the Word of God? Have we forgotten that it is God who is in control? Have we forgotten that if we stay true to the His Word and seek His Face then He will do great and mighty things for His Name's Sake?

Every week I teach my students I make sure they are reminded of how important God's Word is to their lives. God's word is more than God's story meeting our story. There is a movement that is trying to invade our churches where we put the focus of the WORD of God on us. We try to make it our story. Man, to be brutally honest - that is wrong! It takes away from what God has done to think that God's Word is "Our Story!" It is God's Story! It is His Glory that is revealed through the pages of His Word. "Our Story" only happens because it is God who desires to show Himself through our lives.

Please don't stop reading and say I said that God doesn't care about us, because He does. He cares more than anyone in this world ever will. He showed more love than anyone can imagine. He gave up more than anyone ever could. But let us not get so ahead of Him that we think it was just about us! You see, God wills and works in our lives to reveal How Great He is. It is not selfish, or arrogant for God to think this way! God is worthy of it! God is the One True God and the only one who is Worthy to be thought of in this way. What makes it selfish for us is when we think that we deserve glory! You see, it was never about us! It never has been about us! It has always been about God and will be about Him - and I am ok with that! :)

I was teaching the other day that oftentimes when a student is having low self-confidence we jump all over them and make them feel like they are wrong for feeling that way. I actually believe that when a student has low self confidence it could be a very good thing (not if they stay there)! You see, what happens when someone has low self-confidence is that we begin to see ourselves as people who are not as good as we think we should be. If we can get students to turn that from depression and self loathing to realzing who they are in relation to a Holy and perfect God. We are not even on the same page. But what we do is change from a problem with self-confidence to a God Confidence. I am confident that God can do anything he wants in and through my life. I am confident that God can do mighty things in my life. This is not because of who I am but because of who He is. It is the students with very high self confidence that loose sight of the desperation for our God that is so needed. When someone is very self-confident they see what they can do not what God is doing. It is in our desperation that God reaches down and reveals His Glory in our lives. It is when we move from independence to dependence!

So when I am looking to see how this One True God can impact my life I see that there is nothign greater than knowing my Lord. Paul prays this often for the people he writes his letters to. Here are some examples:

Ephesians 3:19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Ephesians 4:13until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.Ephesians 4:12-14 (in Context)
Philippians 1:9And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight,Philippians 1:8-10 (in Context)
Colossians 1:9For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding.Colossians 1:8-10 (in Context)
Colossians 1:10And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,Colossians 1:9-11 (in Context)

The best way for us to know God more is to dive deep into His Word and experience Him. To see God's Story playing out and revealing His truth. Let's not try to make His story our story. Let's just give Praise for His Story.

Clarity Conference - So much need in this world

I had the privilege of going to the Clarity conference tonight with our students at Hebron Baptist Church. Jeremy Kingsley, a good friend of mine, is the speaker on the first night and once again his message was very powerful. By the way if you have never heard Jeremy be sure to check out his website at: http://www.jeremykingsley.com ! He has such an amazing way of communicating to students and yet not forgetting what is so crucial in staying true to the Word of God.

But as I was there I continue to look around and see there is so much need in this world. One of the highlights of the night was when a lady came to share her testimony. She is now 24 and when she was 9 years old she went through compassion international and was given a chance to make an impact in this world by having food to eat, education, and spiritual training. Her father died when she was young and they had no place to live. But because of the gifts of people through Compassion she came to know Jesus and graduated with degrees. She is a product and testimony of how if we work together we can reach people in so many ways.

But there is not just needs in other countries. I am sure no matter what country your in or where you are located there is need all around you. There are children going hungry next door to places that throw away food because they had too much for them to eat. There are sick children who cannot get medicine when just around the corner there are stores full of it but it costs too much money. There are people who don't know the love of Jesus when there is a Christian who waves hello to them when they pull into the garage in the house across the street. There is so much need and we must ask ourselves if we are truly making an impact in this world. Are we reaching out to those in need or do we shrug thinking we are too busy or have to much of our own problems to help someone else? My heart's encouragement tonight is for each one of us to begin the mindset change of looking for ways to love our neighbors, co-workers, friends, relatives, and people that come into our world if just for a moment. Let us make a difference and share God's truth in boldness and in love.

A Big God who cares about Small Stuff

Today I was walking through our church and a lady who has been praying for her son stopped me to ask for prayer. She mentioned how her son, who lives around 5 hours away, had not answered his phone in the last few days and she was getting concerned. She had tried to call him and someone picked up his cell phone and then hung it up. She was concerened that someone had stolen his cell phone or something bad had happened to him. She told me she had a great peace about it but was still concerened and wanted to know if he was ok. I told her I would pray for her and started to walk away. I turned back around as I was reminded about the power of prayer and the need to pray right then. I asked her if I could pray for her and her son right now. She said yes, and I began praying for her. I prayed for her and I prayed that God would be her son's protector and would burden his heart right then to have him call her. After we were done praying she said thank you and I walked away still with a spirit of prayer for him. About 15 minutes later she saw me in the hall and she said, "you won't believe what happened. About a minute after you prayed my phone rang and it was my son. He had been sick and had not answered his phone."

Isn't it cool to see God answer prayers in such a simple way. God knew the she needed to know how her son was, her son needed to know that God was there for him in his life and answered prayers, and I need a little encouragement as I have been teaching on prayer.

Of course this raises a very interesting question, "Would her son have called at that moment if we had not prayed?" Regardless of what you believe about that, God answered the prayer that seems small and simple but shows how Big He actually is.

Prayers of a Child Part 2

One of the greatest things of being a dad is when you get to see your sons grow in their relationship with Jesus. I had the awesome privilege of baptizing my son in December and it is something that I will cherish forever. The great thing about it is that it was a decision made that I have seen the fruit of the Spirit in his life. Just in the last few months I have noticed his prayers changing from simple prayers of "Thank you Jesus for my family," to spirit filled prayers of, "Lord, you’re such a graceful God and you are creator of everything. Lord you made everything. Because you are creator you are owner of us and boss of us." When I heard my 7 year old praying this, my heart wells up inside knowing that he get's it. Of course in the middle of the prayer he adds, "Thank you for creating the Milky Way galaxy, the world, the oceans, the fish, the animals, the lions, the bears, the crocodiles." He keeps me smiling as I listen to his heart.

Another great thing is I can tell that he is not just praying because he is supposed to. When he gets done doing his nightly ritual of brushing teeth and getting ready for bed he usually heads right into bed. I have caught him several times praying without me because he is so tired. I will get in there and he will already be praying so he can go on and go to sleep. That is so cool. He doesn't want to skip praying so he can go to sleep. Man, the prayers of a child. How often in our own lives do we find that we are too busy to pray, or we are too tired to pray before we fall asleep. I know I always, want to teach my children to pray every night before you fall asleep. Isn't it great to know that the last thoughts on your mind before you fall asleep are ones of praise for God and prayer needs of others? Let's think about our Creator every night before we fall asleep. He is our boss you know!

It was funny last night when my son was praying he said that God is our boss, then he added, "But you don't boss us around." I love how he clarified that he was our boss, our owner, a good boss. He wasn't one who just bosses us around and tells us what to do. He is our owner and He has our best interests in mind. He knows what is best and He wants us to experience that best. That is why He shows us what to do.

I hope that your prayer life is one that is active and refreshing. That your prayer life is one where you see God working in and through your life. Prayer Does Matter. It is important. Prayer does make a difference. What are some things in your life that may be hindering your prayer life? Do you fall asleep before you pray? Do you pray hurriedly or in the Spirit of God? Do have to make time for prayer or is prayer just a reflection of your daily heart's expression?

Prayers of a Child

I have grown amazed at listening to my 5 & 7 year old pray. It is always interesting to listen to children pray. I get to smile alot when I hear my 5 year old son say, "Thank you Jesus for ebrything (everything), Amen!"

I would look at him and say, 'Why don't you Thank Jesus for your family or our home?"

He just looks at me and says, "I did! I thank youed Jesus for EBRYTHING!"

He has now added, several things to the list because I am trying to teach him to be a little more specific. He now prays, "Thank you Jesus for Ebrything, Amen. Oh yeah, and thank you for fish and video games."

This comes from the same child who says, "God must be a stretchy God."

I asked, "Micah, why do you think God is a stretchy God?"

"Because if He is with my cousins (who live in PA) and He is here with me He must be able to stretch really far."

The funny thing is I didn't correct him on his theology, because he understands the most important part, God is with everyone. We don't have to understand everything about How God does what He does, but we do need faith in Who God is. It is the nature of God that determines our perspective of God. Do we really have a right perspective of His nature? My prayer for my boys is that they would grow into Godly men and grow in the grace and knowledge of God's truth. The great thing about this prayer is I see it getting answered!

Potluck Youth Ministry Part II

Earlier I wrote about Potluck Youth Ministry in the Superbowl Potluck Snacks Post and I wanted to expand upon this some this morning. The idea of Potluck Youth Ministry is something that so many youth ministries across the country are doing, but it is falling short in producing students who are grounded and deep in their walk with God. Let me explain...

Doesn't everyone love Potlucks? Of course they do, but how healthy are they for you? Imagine if for every meal you had a big buffet potluck dinner. It would be great in that you could eat as much as you wanted and you would never be hungry. You would be satisfied with whatever food you wanted. I suppose if you were like most people you would load your plate up with the things you love and want and not even think about touching some of the foods that you need. Then after you have filled yourself up you will make your way to the dessert table where you will not only each one little slice of cake, but you will get a slice for every kind of cake, then top it off with pie, brownies and cookies. Sounds pretty good doesn't it?

Well, we all know that if we really ate like that we would be raising up an overweight, unhealthy generation.

So how does this relate to youth ministry? I have seen and talk to many youth pastors who look at their youth ministry with the mindset of potluck youth ministry. These take the forms in strategy & programming, and teaching. Sometimes in ministry we are so concerned about giving people what they want we forget to give them what they need.

1) Strategy & Programming - Many youth pastors have a great mission statement, vision statement, and they genuinely want to reach students for Christ. However, if you talk to them about strategy of accomplishing the vision it is based on the concept of giving students what they want and focusing on just fun stuff (As you read you will see I have nothing against fun stuff, in fact I think it is a huge part of having a balanced ministry). The problem with just focusing on fun stuff is that if your mindset is to create disciples then you should focus your energy on moving students toward maturity in Christ. If our strategy is fun then we move students toward fun and when that fun event is over they move back to whatever else is fun. Ultimately we want students coming to church because of Christ. Fun is an open door to get students connected but it is not the goal of youth ministry.

2) Teaching - Oftentimes we teach with the Potluck Youth Ministry mentality. We do this in our messages by not having a plan to take people from where they are in their relationship with Jesus and going deeper in the Word of God. Instead, our messages don't really have a plan except for that night. What about being led by the Spirit? Absolutely we should be led by the spirit. I believe God gives us messages for his people for the moments they are living in. However, the Bible is written with powerful truths and if you do not understand the foundation of it you cannot understand the rest. You have a difficult time enabling people to get a firm understanding of the Bible if we are not laying down the foundations and building on them with our students.

Understand that I am not against topical teaching. But if our topics are not leading the students to get a firm foundation in Scripture then what happens when they get to college and they face people who have questions that shake their weak foundation? Many of the student’s faith will crumble and they will turn from God.

As a youth pastor I have parents who want to know what I'm teaching their kids. I know it is on the hearts of many youth pastors to move true discipleship to the homes and in the family. Do you have a plan of where your leadership is taking the students you are ministering to? Do you have strategy of one that enables students to get what they need in a balanced way? Do you have a balanced meal approach to youth ministry or a Potluck dinner approach?

Don't forget, these students are in a place where we can impact them during some of the most crucial years of their lives. Is our goal to get students to say "wow, I had fun in youth" or "that was fun, but man God changed my life in my youth group?" Having a Balanced Ministry means, incorporating fun, and learning in an effective way. I know students and if you don't have fun with them then relationships will suffer. But if we don't teach the Word of God and how important God's truth is to students then their relationship with God will suffer. Feel free to email me (kevin@youthministryhelper.com) more about this if you have questions.

Kevin Deming

Don't Skip this Post

Ok, the reason for the title is that so often we see something on what I am about to talk about and we skip over it because we think we have it all figured out. I want to encourage you to read this a little deeper and see if we maybe need a little reminding.

My original title was going to be: Does God use our Prayers to do His Will?

I have the privilege of teaching a high school Bible Class for an elective course and today we were teaching on Acts 12. This is the story of how King Herod killed James, and imprisoned Peter. While Peter was in prison the church (not a building but people) were praying fervently for him. Peter was chained up, in-between 2 guards, and guards were outside of the cell as well.

Then something really cool happens... An angel wakes up Peter, his chains fall off, the cell gate opens up and he walks outside of the prison. He then comes to his senses thinking he was just seeing a vision and it was real. He was outside of the Prison and the guards were clueless to what had just happened. Wow! This is an amazing story of how God's plan cannot be stopped by people. In fact when persecution happens God steps up in bigger ways and does the impossible and more people come to faith in Christ.

Now here is the question on prayer. Would God have still done the miracle, sent His angel to free Peter if the people were not praying?

Now be careful, if you say yes, then you devalue prayer and say that the church's prayers were not necessary.

If you say no, then you devalue the sovereignty of God and saying that God can't do it unless people pray.

After talking with my students I shared my thoughts on this subject. You see prayer is a vital part of our relationship and connection with God. If we fail to emphasize prayer in our ministries and we try to do God size things without prayer we are going to fall short of what God has planned.

There are 2 things I think it important to know about God. 1) His sovereignty should never be questioned when anything happens that we don't believe is the best and 2) God chooses to use people and prayer to accomplish his will and purposes on earth. Can God at anytime do anything He wants? Yes, absolutely. But He, in His perfect Holiness has planned a world where He interacts with us, His creation. God chooses to use the prayers of His people to do His work. I don't know what would happen if the people were not praying. I don't know if they would have been disobedient to the Spirit of God what would have happened. I do believe it was in God's plan to save Peter. In John 21:18, Jesus says, "I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." This is a foreshadowing of Peter's Death and it refers to him being old. So in God's providence either He knew that the people would pray and God would respond or God was going to burden people's hearts and have someone pray so that Peter would be saved.

I wonder if the people in Mary's house were not praying if another group would have been and they would have received the blessing of what God did.

Regardless, of what God would have done we can focus on what He did do. God did choose to do a miracle through the prayers of His people. It is vital for us to realize that God uses prayers and as the Body of Christ we need to seek to get before the face of God and pray for our people. Don't let Satan keep you from praying. Satan wants you to get distracted during prayer, he wants you to not realize the importance of prayer, he wants you to forget about praying, he wants you to put off praying, he wants you to devalue prayer, he wants you to simply not pray at all! Don't let that happen. If you sense you are loosing a burden to pray or that you are becoming hard to the thought of prayer find someone you trust and just tell them to pray for you to get that burden back. Stop, right where you are and throw up a prayer for compassion of people and a soft heart for prayer. God will answer you!

Kevin Deming

First Impressions

Ok, I said I would talk about things in our ministry that we should seek to improve upon and look at in order to be more effective. Today was a day where I found myself looking around our church and seeing things that we could always improve on. Don't get me wrong, there are some great things going on at my church, but I understand there are always some things in every church that we can be more effective in. One of the things at my church is the idea of first impressions. I was supposed to meet some people this morning and they didn't show. So I found myself looking around and taking time to clean up around the church. I was overwhelmed on how much actually needs to be done and how we probably have forgotten what it is like to be a guest and walk into our church for the first time.

I do believe the most important thing for us as Christians in our church is to come with a ministry mindset (I will probably blog more about this later) and look to how we can minister to everyone around us. Do you realize that if we come to church and just think about ourselves then we miss the many opportunities of hurting people all around us. Even though this is the most important I still believe the thoughts that people think from the parking lot to the Worship Center are very important. Is there trash in your parking lot, are your bathrooms cleaned, are there things that can enhance people's experience when they come to your church building or are there things that can put a negative thought or mindset when someone drives up?

I was talking to someone and he was sharing with me how church needs to be a place where people can come out of the world and be refreshed. Since I understand that church is the body of Christ I have to ask myself, "Do I refresh people when they spend time with me?" This is a very tough question to ask ourselves. Because if we say no, then that means we need to make some changes. I hope this encourages you to take time and reflect on how you present yourselves in your ministries. I know there is always room for me to grow and I pray that God would show me those areas so I can make the changes He desires for my life!

Kevin Deming

Day 3 - Daniel Fast

Well, the Daniel fast is one of those fasts that you don't necessarily feel the hunger but you do notice a mindset difference in the way you eat. Everything that I am used to eating I am throwing out the window and starting over. I have gotten familar with the fresh produce section of the grocery store and found that there are a lot more good fruits and vegtables than I remembered. Anyways, as I have been praying I want to encourage all of you and so during this fast I am going to be looking at different things in our ministry and our personal lives that we need to know.

Tonight we are having a college worship and Bible study and I am going to be speaking on defining moments in our lives and using the book of Esther. My kids have a CD from Frank Peretti with the story of Esther and it is one that Esther is faced with a huge decision in her life. The decision to stand up for her people or shrink back and hope everything pans out all right. It is important for us to remember that the only truth worth following in this world is God's truth and when we face choices that seem to lead us elsewhere we must renew our mind and follow Christ.

Anyway, I pray that as you read these posts you will be encouraged to take time and remember the most important things in our lives. To realize that our life here on earth is one that is missional. I mean missional in that we have a mission, to know Christ, to follow Christ, and to make Christ know to others so that they can follow Him. I remember when I was at college God laid on my heart a thought that I repeat to myself often. It was this: "Get to know Jesus, I mean really get to know Jesus and don't settle for anything less." Do you realize that by not following what God has planned for you that you are actually settling for less than what He has planned for you life. Pursue God and let Him guide you in all you do.

By the way, yesterday I went back to the gym and started talking to this guy and after a few minutes I asked him where he was from and found out he grew up in South America and his parents were missionaries. It is so cool when you talk to people and get a little more personal than the weather and sports that you can actually meet some really great people. I was definately encouraged by this guy's life.

Thanks!

Kevin Deming

Peter Pan Peanut Butter

I was driving home from picking up my son from preschool yesterday and heard on the radio about the recall on Peter Pan peanut butter. I had to almost pull the car over to see if I heard it right. Who recall's peanut butter? How awkward is that, walking back into a grocery store with your little grocery bag filled with your stash of Peter Pan Peanut butter. Everyone watching as you go to the customer service desk and politely ask if you can have some more peanut butter because your peanut butter has been recalled. I suppose many people might just actually throw the peanut butter away in the trash and forget about it. Anyways, they said that if your jar had the number that started with a 2111 then your peanut butter might possibly be tainted with salmonella and you should dispose of it. I talked to my wife and she said she heard the same thing. Then she proceeds to remind me that we have a large jar of Peter Pan Peanut Butter sitting in our cabinet at home. But our jar was not just like any jar, this jar was a half empty jar. So, I get home with my boys to check out whether we have the dreaded peanut butter or not. I am not too worried since no one in my family is sick and we have already eaten at least half the jar. I walk over to the cabinet and open the door, and there it sits. Yes, my friends a large jar of Peter Pan. As I reach down to pick up the jar my hand begins to shake in anticipation of what the numbers are on our jar. I walk it over to the counter trying not to look. I set it down, and I look on top of the jar and see these numbers. 2.......1........1.......1.... noooooooo, in our very pantry sits the Peanut butter that has been recalled. You would think that my first thought would be, I wonder if anyone is sick, but it wasn't. My first thought was, “am I going to be that silly man walking into the grocery store to return peanut butter?” Actually, I did look over at my boys and see if they were ok. They were and still are.

So the moral of this story is: If you have Peter Pan Peanut butter check to see if the first 4 numbers are 2111 and then return it to the store.

Day One - Daniel Fast

The first day of any fast is always a little hard. Every time that I found I was getting hungry I just drank a glass of water or some orange juice. Yeah, I pretty much drank about 10 glasses of water and 5 glasses of orange juice. The cool thing about today was I had an opportunity on 3 occasions to give testimony of what God is doing in my life.

First, I went to the gym to get a little exercise since today was my day off. For anyone interested in whether it is ok to work out during a fast I think it is fine, as long as, you remember you won't have as much energy. I gave out a little quicker on the cardio and I used less weights. It is interesting how after just 12 hours of not eating your body already starts slowing down. Anyway, at the gym in the dry sauna after working out (I drank a lot of water after this) there was a man in there who I talked with for a while. I found out he goes to church and tried to encourage him a little in his faith. I find that I like building relationships with people in a setting outside of church because sometimes as pastors we spend so much time in a church building we don't make time to talk with others who may need to know Jesus.

The second time I had a chance to share some testimony of who God is was actually through an email. I had on the local sports talk station on here and heard the guy on the radio talking about his belief on the Bible. This came out of a discussion on homosexuality and how he didn't know if the Bible talked about homosexuality or not. He also pointed out that he didn't see a difference between someone who practiced homosexuality and someone who didn't follow the other parts of the Bible (which I agree). However, he took the stand that I believe many people who don't have a relationship with Jesus take. Basically he said that first he knew he wasn't perfect and he already messed up on following the Bible completely. Then he said he wasn't crazy about how people who claimed to use the Bible as a guide point fingers at others and they are not doing all it says either. So I got home and emailed him, which I haven't heard back from and probably won't.

Here is what I wrote:
_____________________________________________
I appreciate your honesty and how real you are on your show. You are probably one of the most knowledgeable about sports and you are not afraid to lay it on the line. Thanks!

Concerning the Bible, there is a huge misconception that people have. The Bible is not a book designed for people to point a finger at other people and say all the things they do wrong. The Bible is the revealing of how perfect and Holy God is and how we don’t come close to it. In the Bible it is explained that all people who are not perfect will be separated from God. That’s all of us, not the concept of those who are homosexual or have sex before marriage as you mentioned.

The problem is when we look at the Bible tells us how to live and then we condemn anyone for not living perfectly by it. God gave us His commands and guidelines for living to show us how desperately we need Him, not so we can brag to others about how we are better than someone else.

So why bother trying if we are not perfect? The truth about the Bible is that it teaches that if you depend upon Jesus instead of yourself then you can be made right with God. It is your belief that Jesus has taken our punishment for us. I as a Christian cannot point my finger at someone else who doesn’t believe in Jesus or the Bible and condemn them. Only God has the authority to do that. My role as someone who believes the Bible to be truth is to clarify it to people, teach it and reveal what God is actually saying in it. It is up to each individual person to make the decision on whether they accept it or reject it.

Thanks!

Kevin Deming

Probably the best book I have read about understanding the Bible is called, “Stranger on the Road to Emmaus,” by John Cross. If you’re a reader you should try and get it. I know you can find it on Amazon.
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Thirdly, I went to my son's parent teacher conference. As she was talking about how kind my son is at school and said she thought we did a good job teaching him to look to others, I used that as another opportunity to give testimony of how we talk about what the Bible teaches and we pray together about things that may be troubling him. It was another moment for me to be able to share how God works in my life and my kid’s lives.

So my first day on the fast was very interesting. I am not outwardly seeking to talk to everyone I know about Jesus. I am outwardly seeking my God and allowing Him to direct me to talk to everyone He wants me to. My prayer during this time of fasting is to grow deeper in my intimacy with God. I am going to read through the book of Hebrews during this fast. I chose Hebrews because I am not currently teaching out of it and want to have a book of the Bible I am meditating on that is not one I am just using to prepare for lessons.

Another thing to note for anyone who is going to do a fast of any kind is, if you are a regular caffeine drinker, you may expect a headache the first day or so. The good news is that it does go away and you feel better the next day.

Thanks!

Kevin

By the way, that apple I ate after the 24 hour liquid fast was pretty sweet!

Daniel Fast

I have been praying for some time about doing another fast and I had a youth pastor friend of mine tell me about the Daniel Fast. It is one that causes us to deny ourselves on the physical level in order to focus on the Spiritual. I have prayed and decided to journal what God is teaching me on the blog as an encouragement to others. I noticed when searching the internet for information on the Daniel fast that there are a lot of people that need some encouraement on fasting and also have some questions regarding different fasting. Please be in prayer with me that God would clearly show us vision on what He has in store for us as we seek to minister to those around us.

I will be starting the fast on Thursday, Feb. 15, 2007 and continuing until Wed. Evening March 7, 2007.

Fasting Guidelines (Taken from Fellowship Church)

FOCUS The fast, as explained in the weekend service, is a spiritual discipline designed to better connect us with God. As a church, we are fasting in order to deepen our relationship with God and to walk in step with His plan and purpose. The best way to do this is to redirect our food source. This is accomplished through substituting our regular food intake with Bible reading, praying and journaling. The overall goal is to experience a genuine hunger for spending time with God.

TIMELINE

1st Day is a 24-hour Liquid Fast We will drink water, natural fruit juice and herbal caffeine-free tea (lunch will be our last meal and we will resume meals at dinner on Monday).

2nd Day: Begin the “Daniel Fast”At dinner, we will begin to introduce meals with pure foods of fruits and vegetables.

This plan will continue for the next 20 days.

MENU The Daniel Fast is a partial fast, which means that we will eliminate some common things from our daily diet, but will have generous options available. We will focus on eating fruits and vegetables that are pure and simple. We have included a list of foods to eat and foods to avoid.

If you have any condition which would prohibit you from being a part of the Daniel Fast, there are other options. Choose something from your daily routine (i.e. specific foods or beverages, television, other technology, etc.) and fast in that manner for the next 21 days. Remember, the details are not as important as the spirit in which you participate.

*If you have any known medical conditions or suspect such conditions, consult your doctor before beginning the fast.

Foods to Eat

WHOLE GRAINS: Brown Rice, Oats, Barley

LEGUMES: Dried Beans, Pinto Beans, Split Peas, Lentils, Black Eyed Peas

FRUITS: Apples, Apricots, Bananas, Blackberries, Blueberries, Boysenberries, Cantaloupe, Cherries, Cranberries, Figs, Grapefruit, Grapes, Guava, Honeydew Melon, Kiwi, Lemons, Limes, Mangoes, Nectarines, Papayas, Peaches, Pears, Pineapples, Plums, Prunes, Raisins, Raspberries, Strawberries, Tangelos, Tangerines, Watermelon

VEGETABLES: Artichokes, Asparagus, Beets, Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cabbage, Carrots, Cauliflower, Celery, Chili Peppers, Corn, Cucumbers, Eggplant, Garlic, Ginger Root, Kale, Leeks, Lettuce, Mushrooms, Mustard Greens, Okra, Onions, Parsley, Potatoes, Radishes, Rutabagas, Scallions, Spinach, Sprouts, Squashes, Sweet Potatoes, Tomatoes, Turnips, Watercress, Yams, ZucchiniSeeds, Nuts, Sprouts

LIQUIDS: Water (as much as possible), Unsweetened Soy Milk, Herbal (caffeine free) Tea, Natural Fruit Juice (no added sugar)Extra-Virgin Olive Oil (small quantities), Honey

Foods to Avoid

• Meat, Poultry, Fish• White Rice• Fried Foods• Caffeine, Coffee, Tea (including decaf)• Carbonated Beverages• Foods Containing Preservatives or Additives• Refined Sugar or Sugar Substitutes• White Flour• Margarine, Shortening, High Fat Products• All Breads• Dairy (milk, butter, cheese, yogurt, etc.)

We do not belong to this World!

Last night in our High School youth I taught on how the world we live in strives to draw us away from God. In our life we need to realize that we no longer belong to this World. John 15:19 says, "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." We realize that by having faith in Jesus we no longer belong to the world. We are still in the world physically but spiritually we have been taken out, waiting for the inheritance that God gives us with faith in Jesus Christ.

1 Peter 1:17 says, "Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers her in reverent fear." To be a stranger is having the mindset that you don't quite "fit in" or "belong." As we live our life we "do not conform ourselves to the evil desires" (1 Peter 1:14) we had before. The sin of this World offers us things contrary to what God desires in our life. It is vital for us as Christians to recognize what the world is offering so that when we are tempted we can respond in boldness, truth and obedience.

What I really wanted to get across to the students is that even though we are strangers in this world we still have a mission to accomplish. This mission is to rescue all those around who do not realize their need for Jesus. We rescue them by loving people, caring for the hurting, & sharing the truth of Jesus Christ. People will only come to Jesus if they recognize they have a need for Him. When it comes to following the pattern of the world we should be as strangers and not jump right into a life that lives contrary to the Word of God.

What are the temptations of the world? I think for people they are generally comprised of 4 main groups: 1) the desire to be accepted, by a group of people or a particular person; 2) the desire for success; 3) the desire for power; and 4) the desire to be noticed or known. The world offers us these in pretty little packages that we think will meet these desires. We fail to realize that these pretty packages actually are designed not so that we will be satisfied but instead that we will desire even more. The truth is that God offers us all 4 of these in Him. He offers us unconditional acceptance based upon our faith in what Jesus has done, not how good we are. He offers us success in "with God all things are possible." Our success is based upon eternal things rather than the temporary success the world offers. God offers us power that is found in the Holy Spirit and when used according to His will is the greatest power we will ever experience. He offers us the desire to be noticed and known, not with Man's glory in mind but instead known by our Creator and the author of our universe. WOW! Why would I worry about being noticed by man, when I can be known and noticed by God!! He is the Creator; He is the one who spoke this world into existence.

This whole understanding is foundational for us as youth pastors to teach our students. We need to enable our students to understand the truth that God fulfills our desires completely in His perfect way rather than the world offering us satisfaction that can never be fully met.

How does this truth change the way we act? How does this truth change the way we look at our friends, our parents, our choices? Knowing that our purpose on earth is to know our God, make Him known, and bring Him glory in all we do there is a certain satisfaction that can only be met through Him.

Kevin

Superbowl Potluck Snacks

Super bowl Sunday is always a fun time for a youth pastor. We get to have students over to our house or go hang out at another student’s party. The only thing is even if your team ends up winning you still feel a little blah going to bed. This reason for this blah feeling my friends, is because of the stuffing of the stomach that takes place. We had tons of food at my house with 30+ High School students crammed into my den. I ate, and then kept eating, and then I actually ate some more. I have been thinking how we often times do Youth ministry like Potlucks. You see, we love potlucks, and great spreads of food, with a huge selections but there is a problem. I don't usually eat the vegetables and fruits and healthy food. I tend to see the magnetic force pulling my plastic plate over toward the desserts and sausage balls. Now as great as it is I would probably be one of the unhealthiest Youth Pastors around if I had a Potluck dinner every week. You see that is where some of our Youth Ministries suffer. We feel like that the best way to teach students is to give them as many options as we can and try to teach them just whatever they want to hear. I have found that as fun as it can be at times and many of the students like the potluck, the true discipleship takes place when you build a healthy foundation. God has laid on my heart a strategy in youth ministry of one where we teach in a systematic approach and where we end up building foundations on top of foundations. Now it isn't always the wow messages but the cool thing about teaching foundationally and systematically is if your creative you can make it fun and interesting and your students will remember in 6 months more of what you have taught.

Do you have yearly themes that focus on teaching the Word of God to them or do you have monthly themes that don't tie into each other? Maybe you’re even struggling with your messages because each week is different from before. You see in churches our students hear a message on average 4 times a week if they are active (Sunday Morning Bible Study, Sunday Morning Sermon, Sunday Night message or small group, and Wed. night message or small group). The troubling thing is that oftentimes those 4 messages do not connect on any level to the others. Then when we ask our students what they learned they look at us with puzzled faces and we wonder how we can be more effective as teachers. Give them a potluck on occasion (Disciple Now's, Retreats, Conferences), but be sure to lay a foundation that will last with them for a lifetime.